


See honey, I am not some broken thing (I do not lay here in the dark waiting for thee)

by Loulouche, TiamatZX



Series: Voice of the Heart [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, One Shot, Takes place during Chapter 24, Technically post-chapter, Voice of the Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28988835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loulouche/pseuds/Loulouche, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiamatZX/pseuds/TiamatZX
Summary: Fic Title is from “Song of Zula”.Beau copes from a recent loss with her family, found and blood, as she muses over what awaits her in terms of her future.A "Voice of the Heart" one-shot. Takes place after Chapter 24, before the epilogue.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha Nydoorin, The Mighty Nein - Relationship
Series: Voice of the Heart [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126487
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	See honey, I am not some broken thing (I do not lay here in the dark waiting for thee)

**Author's Note:**

> ADAM  
> Welcome to the first of our “deleted scene” one-shots for “Voice of the Heart”! These are stories that we intend to add to the overall main story without needing to edit them constantly. Some will be stand alone, some will pick up where certain chapters left off, and some will just fill in the gaps between.
> 
> First off, though, I’ll let Luce set the scene.
> 
> LUCE  
> A pleasure to write with Adam again! For this “come back”, we wanted to give Beau some family time to help her heal. Mourning is a long process, but it will be easier with friends around her.
> 
> The scene after dinner was inspired by lalou’s art: https://l-a-l-o-u.tumblr.com/post/638987544573444096/they-are-cozy.  
> You should check it out, it’s super cute and when I stumbled upon it I instantly thought about Henriette.
> 
> We plan to write other one-shots like this one, so you should definitely let us know in the comments if this is something you liked reading. Also, if you have some ideas or things you’d like us to write, feel free to tell us. (I mean, if this is something you’d be okay to do, Adam?)
> 
> ADAM  
> Of course! I’d be delighted if those who are fans of our stories would like to do so.

“Thank you for checking in on me, High Curator. I’ll… I’ll get back to you on that vacancy.”

The half-elf nods and makes their leave. As soon as they do, Beau closes the door, alone in the office again.

And yet, she’s not quite in the mood to leave just yet.

She sits on Dairon’s chair, takes a breath, and pulls out the letter once more. She lets Dairon’s words sink even a second time, forever grateful to her mentor in life and in death.

Just as she gets to the end once more, Beau hears a familiar ringing in her ear.

_ “Beau! Where are you?! We’re at the Leaky Tap and we already started eating without you. What’s taking so long, slowpoke? You pooping or something?” _

Beau can’t help but smirk. “I’ll be right over, Jessie. Just had to do some light reading.”

Beau folds the letter and places it into her satchel, shouldering it before joining the Mighty Nein for some much-needed time together.

* * *

As soon as Beau walks into the Leaky Tap, she is greeted by Lauren Shivine, the human woman who owns the tavern after the previous owner, Claudia Sheed, sold it to her. They briefly chat, Beau asks for news from Bryce and Claudia, but Lauren doesn’t hold her up for too long as she notices the dull sorrow hanging to her features. She points to the table where her friends are and then goes to serve other patrons.

Caduceus is the first one to notice Beau when she walks toward them. He gives her a kind smile and nods at her, and immediately, everybody turns and sees her. She sits down where a seat was left vacant, between Yasha and her mother.

Clara wraps her in a tight hug. “We were afraid you might have changed your mind,” she whispers in her ear.

“I just needed a moment to myself. But I’m here now.”

Clara releases her from her embrace and Beau gives a look to the rest of her family. She forces a smile. “I’m glad to be here with you guys.”

She feels a hand brush against her thigh hesitantly and she immediately intertwines her fingers with Yasha’s and turns to her. They smile at each other before Beau looks back at her friends. “Thank you for joining me when I gave my speech. I don’t think I would have been able to do it without you by my side.”

“Of course,” Fjord says with a warm smile. “We have your back, first mate.”

He extends his fist in front of him and Beau bumps it with a small smile.

“Would you like something to eat? Something to drink?” Veth asks.

“No thanks.”

They all stare at her with wide eyes.

“I’ve had enough to drink in the past few days, believe me.”

Clara gives her a severe look that quickly turns into concern when Beau has no reaction other than a shrug of her shoulders.

“I’ve… I have had a very rough time. Believe me, it’s perhaps the worst I’ve been, much worse than back home.” Beau can’t help but smile a little. “But at least I’m not alone this time.”

Clara wraps her arm around her and pulls her into a side hug.

Caleb gives Beau a very serious and intense look. “We can have dinner here, or we can go directly to the tower. What would you prefer?”

“Home,” Beau replies without hesitation. “ _ Our _ home. I… I want to see my brother. I want  _ all _ of us to be together.”

Caleb nods. “To Nicodranas, then.”

He is already standing up, but Beau stops him. “You guys can take your time, and finish your meal and drinks at least.”

Fjord raises his eyebrows. “I think none of us really care about a couple unfinished drinks. We probably all want to go home, right?” He looks around and everybody nods firmly.

“Let's go then,” Caleb says with a head motion.

They all stand up. Beau and Yasha are still holding hands and none of them let go as they leave the tavern. They stop in front of the establishment, not bothering to find an isolated alley to teleport, and Caleb readies himself to cast. As he is about to…

“Hey, there! I certainly didn’t think I would run into the Mighty Nein when I came out for a stroll.”

They all immediately recognize the humble and jovial tone of none other than their favorite proprietor of arcane oddities this side of the Marrow Valley. They all turn in the direction of the voice to see the unmistakable sight of Pumat Sol, the firbolg out on the street an otherwise uncommon sight.

Jester beams up. “Pumat!”

“Hey, little one. Still as energetic, aren’t you?” He turns to the rest of the group. “And hello to all of you. What are you doing in Zadash?”

The ambient joy dies down a little and Fjord clears his throat. “Maybe you heard what happened recently in Rexxentrum.”

Pumat actually nods in understanding, especially upon seeing Beau and Caleb. “Ah, yes. Respectfully, I have to say… the news was quite surprising when it reached my ears. And from Headmaster Hass, no less.”

He sees Caleb nod in agreement before speaking again. “I am glad you folks proved to be such good eggs, able to root out the bad ones in the Assembly. That said...”

Pumat focuses on Beau as he approaches the monk. “How are you holding up, Miss Beau? After all that’s happened? You’d be surprised to know that Dairon was once a valued customer, being a liaison from the Cobalt Soul. I mean, where do you think she got her  _ Alter Self _ ring from?”

“I”m…” She hesitates before giving an answer. “I’m holding up. I can’t say much more than this, for now.” She forces a smile. “I should have known such a good enchantment could only come from you, Pumat.”

The firbolg nods with an expression unusually solemn for him. “Just between you and me, if you ever needed something from me that is not very time consuming… consider it on the house. Least I can do for you and them.”

“Thanks, Pumat.”

“I am sorry for your loss. She will be missed.”

“She will,” Beau approves with a nod.

There is an awkward silence and Caleb quickly breaks it. “Headmaster Hass passed on your message, Pumat.” He places a hand on Beau’s shoulder and she gives him a look. “Be sure we will stay together and support each other, now more than ever.”

Beau puts her hand over Caleb’s and squeezes it, then turns to Pumat. “Hey. Um… Can I have a hug?”

The firbolg looks taken aback by this unexpected request, but he steps forward and without saying anything, he wraps his massive arms around her. Beau is a bit smothered by his hug, but she lets go of Caleb’s and Yasha’s hands and returns it. She had been given hugs from firbolgs before, from both Caduceus and Nila. And this embrace is just as comforting as she had imagined it would be by comparison.

“It’s dawning on me that firbolgs are great huggers.” She chuckles a bit. “You all are like teddy bears.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots even Caduceus blushing a little at her compliment. That is enough to bring a smile to her face.

After a moment, she lets go and Pumat takes a step back and gives her a warm smile. “I hope you will feel better soon, Miss Beau.”

“Me too.”

“We will try our best to help with it,” Yasha says as she gives Beau a look.

Pumat smiles at the look of pure love the two women share and nods to himself. “I was on my way to pick mushrooms, I should get going.”

“Are you going in the woods?” Jester asks. “Be careful, I heard there were wolves there.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. But thanks for letting me know. I was planning to go tomorrow morning, chilly as it might be. But any chance I can get to stretch the old Pu-muscles, right?”

The familiar pun elicits chuckles out of everyone present, even Clara whom Beau realizes she never got to introduce. “Oh, um, sorry. Mom, this is Pumat Sol, the enchanter we told you about a couple times.”

“Yeah, I figured. Nice to meet you. Clara Lionett, proud mother of Expositor Beauregard.” Clara gives a curtsy.

Pumat gives a deep nod. “The pleasure is mine, Miss Clara. You should be proud of your daughter, indeed. She’s really nice.”

Beau can’t help the proud and satisfied smile rising on her face, just like the time she was called this by her other firbolg friend.

“I just have to bring my son next time. He’d love to meet you.”

“And I’d love to meet him.”

Beau lets a smirk crawl into her smile. “You’d love him. He looks kinda like this.” And with that, she snaps her fingers and, despite the height being obviously wrong, she still casts  _ Disguise Self _ to create the visage of her brother.

Fjord squeals. “What the hell, Beau? An adult woman with a child face? That’s absolutely creepy, don’t do this!”

“And your approximation of a large-sized Nott  _ wasn’t _ ? Besides… this was a form that… the Heartsbane used to try to antagonize me. I just figured I’d use it in a more lighthearted manner.”

“Still creepy-- OW!” Fjord says in a weak complaint that is immediately cut off by a sharp stomp to the foot by Clara.

“Pot calling the kettle black, young man?” Clara retorts with a smirk on her own face. Quite literally like mother, like daughter.

Pumat goes into a deep slow laughter, both because of Beau’s spell and the childish quarrel. “I have to say, respectfully, I never expected you to learn magic, Miss Beau. That said, it’s a good trick. I can’t wait to see the genuine article some time.”

“And I can’t wait to learn more,” she says with a look toward Caleb.

Pumat smiles. “You were obviously about to go somewhere. I don’t want to keep you any longer. I hope I’ll see you all soon and I’ll get to meet your brother. Until then, goodbye.”

With a wave of his hand, he goes on his own way.

“Goodbye, Pumat Swole!” Veth shouts as he is walking away.

They are all still waving at him when Caleb casts and brings them all directly to the Brenattos, which results in a lot of complaints as the tallest members of the group weren’t prepared for that.

And yet, it’s still worth it as the small running forms of Luc and TJ run up to tackle Beau to the ground and hug her, as Yeza watches on with a smile while his wife runs up to embrace him.

“Beau is back!” the two boys shout in unison.

TJ grabs her face with his tiny hands and kisses her on the cheek. The gesture, as simple as it is, is enough to bring tears to her eyes.

“Yeah. I’m back. I’m home. Finally.”

“Come on, TJ.” Clara says with a gentle voice. “Give your sister some space.”

TJ tries to do as told, but Beau doesn’t let go even as Luc himself gets to his feet and she is sitting up. Instead, she just holds onto her brother real tight. “I missed you, little man.”

He hugs her back just as tightly. “Missed you too, sistah.” He wiggles a bit to break free from the embrace and looks Beau in the eye. “Luc and me kept Yeza safe.”

“Luc and I,” Beau corrects. “I’m sure you did, little man.”

Everybody chuckles, even Veth, as she wouldn’t be surprised if it were true, and Yeza doesn’t deny it.

The reunion is lovely already, but the scene wouldn’t be complete without the last member of the Lionett family. 

“Meow!”

As if on cue, a familiar mewling catches Beau’s attention and just as she turns her head, Henriette emerges from one of the rooms, running to her at top speed. The cat leaps up to quickly nestle into Beau’s arms, and the purring is a welcome sound to come home to. Beau gets even more emotional and scratches her head. “Hey, you.”

Caleb smiles at the scene and then turns to Jester. “Do you know if your mother is free tonight?”

“I told her I didn’t know when we would be back, but she cleared her evening, just in case.”

“Good. We should pick her up and then I can have the tower up if we want to spend the night here.”

“That would be perfect,” Beau says with a smile. And after a moment, she adds, “Can you… next to the mural for Molly… could you conjure one for Dairon as well?”

Caleb gives her a nod and a smile that is still somehow sad. “I would be honored. Would you like something specific?”

“You did a great job with Molly’s. I trust you.”

He nods. “Let’s go.”

They all leave the house, some more easily than others depending on their height, and go to the Lavish Chateau. After greeting everybody and giving Beau a tight hug and offering her condolences, Marion gladly accepts to join them for the night.

Caleb casts in Jester’s room. It takes him a little longer than usual, as he has to make some adjustments to add bedrooms and create a new mural, but soon, the portal appears and they can all step inside the tower.

They levitate all together to the third floor where the salon is and stop there. Just as he had promised, Caleb slightly shifted Molly’s mural to the side to make room for another one. The new one is formed of various shades of deep cobalt blue with gray highlights thrown in. In the center is a silhouette, but upon closer inspection, Beau realizes it’s formed by the fusion of two halves: one elven, the other human. What’s more, she notices that the two halves are actually two silhouettes with their backs to each other.

Above them both are three eyes, also cobalt blue. And superimposed between the silhouettes is the unmistakable symbol of the Knowing Mistress. The human and the elf are moving forward and away from each other, but an ethereal flow is keeping them connected, what Beau assumes to be a representation of their ki.

Her vision becomes blurry and she doesn’t even try to fight the tears gathering in her eyes. She closes them and feels one tear rolling down her cheek. She opens them when she hears footsteps and she’s not surprised to see Yasha standing next to her. She is not tall enough to rest her head on the aasimar’s shoulder, so she settles with her arm. Yasha gently takes her hand in hers and squeezes it.

“I’m going to prepare something for dinner,” Caduceus says. “You should all just- just sit down and get comfortable.”

“Let me help you!” Veth offers.

“Sure. Come on.”

“You know what we should do?” Jester says excitedly. “We should cook all together! That time when we baked was fun.”

No one protests and they all levitate up to the upper floor and go to the kitchens. Most of the fey cats are here when they enter. Even if it’s still a little creepy to be stared at by hundreds of eyes, Beau feels a nice comfort warm her heart at this familiar sight.

It’s obvious that twelve people can’t all be cooking at once, so while some help Caduceus and Veth, others take plates from shelves and go to the dining room to set the table. The cats are clearly confused as they are left with nothing to do, but Caleb simply suggests that they go back to their business or take some time to themselves for once. Soon, the kitchen is almost empty of the feys, most of them leaving through the aqueducts and just a few hanging out with the Nein and their extended family.

* * *

During dinner, the atmosphere is not as relaxed as usual, but it’s not as tense as they were all afraid it would be. The short silences that settle from time to time are almost tolerable, although someone always needs to break them eventually, even to say something trivial.

Beau can only wonder why this feels so off. And she can only assume that it’s because of her. Because she was closed off from the world for so long. Because the Mighty Nein, and her family, and even the Cobalt Soul did not matter to her for however brief a time. There is no part of her logic that can even begin to excuse or justify her actions aside from grief and mourning. But instead of reaching out, she hid.

And now that she is out in the light again, it’s as if everyone is unsure of how to broach the subject. It’s honestly no different from the week she spent in the hands of the Cerberus Assembly, only she wasn’t silenced against her will. It’s like trying to rebuild herself yet again from the ground up.

Or perhaps, even now, she’s just making excuses when she should just accept the truth, move on, and work towards bettering herself. It is what Dairon would expect from her, after all.

When dinner is over, they let the cats clear the table. Caduceus prepares tea for everybody and soon, they are all settled in the salon to have some quiet time together. Caleb surprises them when he provides comfortable, perfectly sized slippers for each of them, that they all gladly accept. They chuckle as they put them on.

At first, it’s a bit awkward as no one is speaking. But Luc and TJ quickly lighten up the mood when they recount what they have been doing for the past few days while the Nein were away.

Yasha is in an armchair, Beau is sitting across her lap with her legs dangling to the side, and Henriette is curled up on Beau’s belly. The two women are petting her and she is purring louder than ever. Around them, all their friends and family are listening to the two boys speaking and even reenacting some epic adventures they’ve been through.

The fire is crackling and the flames are illuminating the two sets of stained glass above the fireplace. Beau takes a look at them. She doesn’t cry this time, although a mixture of sorrow and nostalgia grows into her chest, but she manages to keep it to a minimum. She feels Yasha’s hand rub her back and she looks at her.

“Are you okay?”

Beau nods. “I will be.” She leans closer and pecks Yasha on the cheek.

The aasimar wraps her arm around her waist and pulls her closer.

Beau is still hurting, but now she knows that with time and love, things will get better. They have to. She can’t stay frozen in place, she has to keep moving forward. For Dairon, for Yasha, for her brother, for her mother, for the Mighty Nein. As long as she holds onto them and they hold onto her, it will be alright.

She rests her head on Yasha’s shoulder and nuzzles her neck with her nose as she listens to TJ and Luc, petting Henriette and being rewarded with her soft purring. They even get excited as they play with Harey, while Jester has to restrain Sprinkle from getting involved. Even Nugget is enjoying his time with the kids and other pets. Who would’ve thought that a cat and a blink dog would get along so well?

TJ and Luc give the signal for bed-time when they start yawning.

Clara smiles at her son. “I think it’s time to go to sleep.”

“No, a bit longer,” the boy protests weakly, even if his eyes are half-closed already.

Yeza looks at Luc. “It’s time to go to bed for you too.”

“But, Dad! Mom has just returned! I want to stay up.”

Yeza turns to his wife for support. Veth tries to be firm, even if the pout Luc is giving her is really cute. “Dad is right, Luc. It’s getting late. Besides, I’m not leaving any time soon, so we’ll have plenty of time together.”

The news seems to suddenly shake Luc from his tiredness as he smiles widely. “It’s true? You’re going to stay with us, Mom?”

Veth looks at the Nein. “Well. I think this was our last mission, right?”

“Our last mission...” Yasha mumbles to herself, then glancing at Beau who has that look in her eyes again. A look she thought she wouldn’t see once more, albeit not nearly as dour as it was when she stepped out of that hut in the mountains. In fact, a lot lighter but still sad.

Fjord and Jester are busy making heart-eyes at each other, while Marion is looking at them with a warm smile, but Caduceus and Caleb quickly notice Beau’s reaction. Caleb glances at her and then looks at Veth. “We did say we wanted to offer the people of the Empire a brighter future.”

“And we did it,” Veth says with a tone that itself sounds like the end of the story.

Caleb doesn’t reply, but he clears his throat and scratches his beard as he gives a subtle head motion in the direction of Beau. Veth looks at the monk and finally notices her expression, but Beau herself catches the wizard”s gesture. “It’s okay, Caleb. I knew this day would come.”

Fjord and Jester finally pay attention when they hear Beau’s morose tone. Caleb scratches his beard some more. “You’re not the only one who’s been thinking about this moment, to be honest. Well, dreading this moment would be more accurate actually.”

The Empire Kids share a compassionate look. Ever since they first started to truly see eye-to-eye, this was a goal that they both strived for. The first part of that coming true was the peace talks, sharing an embrace filled with hope but also apprehension. Apprehension that only got stronger due to their dealing with Da’leth and DeRogna and Eiselcross and all of that. But now it’s truly hitting them both.

After a long time, they succeeded. And yet, they still feel… empty inside. Probably because what other reason would they have to stick together aside from adventure, or being a family themselves?

Caleb remembers all too well the look of resignation in Beauregard’s countenance when she stepped out of that hut, firmly believing that there was nothing left for her. And yet, there clearly still was, as the Nein managed to persuade her into staying. It’s a look he never wanted to see again, and to see it now just hurts.

And yet…

“‘Dreading’ is a word for it… but… it doesn’t feel so painful now.”

There is an awkward silence, and then Veth turns to Yeza. “Honey, would you take Luc to bed, please?”

“No!” Luc complains. “I don’t want to go to bed!”

“Luc, please.”

Veth’s soft voice seems to be convincing enough. The boy lowers his voice. “But what if you leave again in my sleep? What if… What if Auntie Beau leaves? Or anyone else?”

“I promise no one will leave, and I promise I will come give you a kiss later. We just need… a moment to talk.”

Luc still looks a bit upset, but he nods. Veth gives him a hug, and then he follows Yeza and they levitate up.

Clara takes TJ in her arms and looks at Marion. “Would you help me read a story to TJ, dear?”

Marion opens her mouth to reply, but TJ is faster. “No! I don’t want Beau to leave again.”

“She’s not leaving, TJ. She’ll be here in the morning when you wake up.”

“Last time she said she would come back quick, but she was gone long.” His voice is trembling and his eyes are getting teary.

Seeing her brother distressed, Beau stands up, puts Henriette down on Yasha’s lap, and goes to him. “Hey, calm down, little man. You’re right, I said I would be gone just for a few days but then I stayed away longer.”

“Why?”

Beau swallows hard. “Because… I lost a friend. And I was so sad.”

“Are you still sad?”

“Yeah, TJ. I’m still sad. But it’s gonna be okay.”

“Sleep with me. Hugs and cuddles are good when we’re sad.”

Beau lets out a shaky chuckle and she instantly hates how broken it sounds. Her vision becomes blurry and she rubs her eyes before the tears gathering there have the opportunity to drip. “I’ll think about it. Thanks for the offer, little man.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’m not leaving. Not again.”

TJ is still frowning. “I stay. You stay.”

Beau gives a sigh. It’s not often that she finds herself unable to give a rebuttal. She glances over at Clara and Marion and just shrugs. “Okay, have it your way. I mean, you already saw me have a bad day. Can’t get worse.”

TJ reaches out and Beau can’t help wondering if he wants her to carry him to make sure she won’t go anywhere without him. But she doesn’t ask him and simply obliges. As soon as TJ is in her arms, he puts his own arms around her neck and locks them strongly.

“It’s not as painful now,” Beau says as she goes back to her earlier train of thought, “because now I actually have a home to go back to. And there are more open doors for me.”

Caduceus leans on the armchair where Yasha is sitting and takes a deep breath. He seems relaxed and at peace like he often is. “You’re right. I have a home to go back to as well. And… I miss them. Heh. I might not even recognize the grove when I come back now.”

Beau smiles. “I hope you won’t. It would mean you’ve done exactly what you were supposed to.”

“As for me...” Fjord speaks up, “I’ve come to realize I also have a home to come back to. And a certain someone showed that to me.” He looks over to his right to see Jester, her arm held in his.

Jester looks back at him and smiles. She then turns to the monk. “Beau… I don’t want you to be sad like you were that day.”

“I’m not, Jess. Well, I am, but this is not because of it. You know… I’ve come to realize that even if this,” she gives a hand motion at all of them, “this group was going to split eventually, it was alright. I know I’m going to miss being constantly with all of those dangerously reckless people,” they all chuckle, “but just because we’re no longer together, it doesn’t mean we will forget each other.”

“No!” Jester says firmly. “We will always be here for each other, and we will always be a family, no matter what. Right, guys?”

They all nod in agreement and smile.

Jester looks back at Beau. “You know… I was a bit scared too, before. I didn’t want to be alone again, like I was when I was a child.”

Marion’s face betrays her concern, but Jester quickly grabs her hand and squeezes it, and Marion smiles. “I had Mama, and Artie, but you know, it wasn’t the same.” She turns to the Nein. “Now, I have all of you, and we’ve made so many friends along the way! I know I’ll never be alone, even when you guys are not around. I know you’ll always be with me.”

Still holding Fjord’s and Marion’s hands, she puts her own on her chest and squeezes them tightly. Caleb smiles at this lovely family portrait. Yasha glances at him. There’s this sadness that he is always wearing on his face, but also a sincere and pure love.

“What a difference a year together makes.”

“The longest year of our lives,” Beau agrees. She looks at her friends and can’t hide the worry that she suddenly feels. “Do you guys think we could stay together a little longer though? Like, a few days? I know  _ I _ was the one who locked myself away, but now I think I need a bit of time with all of you. If that’s okay.”

Veth looks at Clara. “My husband and son live here, so I have no reason to be anywhere else.” She turns to Beau. “And your family is here too, as well as Marion. And Yasha’s always going to be with you.”

Caduceus nods. “I suppose I can wait a bit longer before going back.”

The others begin voicing similar things. But of course, there’s the one exception sitting in his chair, absentmindedly petting his familiar. After a moment, he finally notices all the eyes in the room on him.

“Oh. Well… I suppose I can stick around.”

Beau smiles. “Thanks, guys.”

“I know we all had vacations when you were off duty,” Fjord says, “but I mean, there was a tiny little something that sort of prevented us from relaxing and enjoying it fully. So I guess we all need  _ real  _ down time now anyway.”

Beau grins. “Yeah, probably. Sorry about that, by the way.”

“You stop that right now. I’m not hearing any of this. We all on some level pulled the others in some sort of danger before--”

“Yeah, yeah.” Beau interrupts, “We know. You can’t be far from the sea even though bad things happened to you so many times.”

”Are you done?” Fjord gets no reply so he continues. “Anyway, there’s nothing to apologize for. And that’s what family’s for, right?”

They all nod in agreement, Clara and Marion too, and TJ follows suit just as an automatic mimicry. Right after, he yawns.

Clara tilts her head to the side. “You still don’t want to go to bed, I guess?”

“Only if Beau comes,” he says with a sleepy voice.

Beau hesitates and glances at Yasha, then back at her brother. “I’d like to sleep with Yasha tonight. Is it okay with you?”

“Okay. Ya...Ya-sha is okay.” He looks at the aasimar and mumbles barely intelligible words. “Don’t let- Don’t let Beau go.”

Yasha nods and smiles. “I won’t, TJ.”

Beau smiles at her brother. “Would you like me to tell you a story before bed?”

TJ doesn’t even answer, only nods weakly as he rubs his eyes to try to stay awake.

With no further room for argument, they all go to their respective chambers for the night. Beau walks over to the door of the guestroom her family usually uses, looks at TJ as she opens it and then she says, “Okay. So… there was this one time where a man who looked like Jester wanted to be king and...”

* * *

Yasha was expecting Beau - this is her room after all - but she is still startled when there’s a knock at the door. She closes her flower book and gets up from the bed to go open the door.

Beau smiles awkwardly. “Hey.”

Yasha is a bit unsettled. It feels like going back in time, when things were so awkward between them and they didn’t know how to act or speak around each other. She must stare longer than she realizes, because Beau clears her throat. “Can- Can I come in?”

Yasha blinks. “Of course, silly. This is your room.”

Beau steps inside and Yasha closes the door behind them. They look at each other and for a moment, none of them speak. When they finally do, they talk over each other.

“How do you-”

“I’m sorry for-”

They stop at the same time and chuckle a bit. Beau smiles. “You go first.”

“How- How do you feel?”

Beau thinks for a moment and looks away. “Bad.” Yasha gives her a puzzled look that she can see from the corner of her eyes. “I… I pushed you away. All of you, but also  _ you _ , of all people.”

Yasha sighs. “How is this any different… from me distancing myself from you early on every time? You know why. Especially… after Molly...”

Beau keeps her gaze averted and grabs her own arm. She rubs it nervously, not to the point where she hurts herself, but her discomfort is clearly visible.

“Beau, we’ve been over this. A lot.”

Beau inhales, but her breathing is shaky. “I know. But still. I don’t want you to believe that I no longer want you in my life. It’s the opposite actually, I- I just didn’t-”

Beau’s ramblings are suddenly cut off by a soft laughter.

“Why on Exandria would I ever think that?”

Beau shrugs. “I don’t know. When people refuse to talk or to see someone, that’s usually because they’re trying to cut them out from their life.”

“Or because they want time to process and be alone for a while,” Yasha retorts. “Again, how is this different from what I did? You know, for being a gifted champion of knowledge… you yourself can be as dense as the books you read sometimes.”

Beau finally looks at Yasha and a shy smile forms on her face which then quickly dissolves as she gives off a chuckle… and then just utter cackling.

Yasha raises her eyebrows. “What is it?”

Beau laughs a bit longer before she composes herself. “Nothing. You’re just… Thank you. I needed this.”

Yasha smiles. She opens her hand and when Beau gives her her own, she gently takes it and places a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I’m glad I could provide this, then.” She looks up at Beau and her face is much more serious now. “Do you want to talk about it, or should we just avoid the subject for now?”

She feels Beau’s hand stiffen in hers, yet her eyes are unwavering. “I’ve… said what I needed to at the funeral. I’ve said my goodbyes. And so I’m moving on. With you by my side.”

Yasha nods. “Always.” She gently pulls Beau closer and wraps her arms around her.

Hugging her is a bit strange. They’ve been away for just a week, but Yasha feels like she’s been holding her breath all along and only now she can breathe again. Beau’s frame seems smaller than before and she can feel her bones are more protruding than they used to be. Surely, she hasn’t been eating for the past few days. Yasha holds her more tightly, as if this simple gesture could make her pain go away. She knows it’s foolish, but she can’t help it.

“I know what you’re thinking, Yash. And as you said, it’s no different. How often have  _ you _ gone without eating?”

Yasha stiffens a little. By the gods, how does she do it? “I’m not an example.”

“Really? Even I can tell that you weren’t taking care of yourself either. I’ve been feeling you long enough to know when you haven’t eaten. And I’m sorry it’s because of me. So let’s change that.” Beau ends up breaking the hug and walks to the rope by the fireplace.

Yasha watches silently as she pulls it. Shortly after, a cat emerges from the aqueduct and stops in front of Beau. “Ollie, can you bring us some… chocolate-covered crickets and pancakes? And an extra side of bacon for me. Thanks!”

A thin smile appears on Yasha’s face. “We’ve already had dinner, though.”

“And yet you’re  _ still _ skin and bones. Like me. So let’s make up for it.”

Yasha sighs and shakes her head. “Okay, you win. Besides, I’m always up for bugs.”

With a happy mewling because of Beau’s unexpected good manners, the cat leaves the same way it came.

“Would it be possible to, maybe, have another hug while we wait for our midnight snack?” Yasha asks bashfully.

Beau walks back to her. “You can even have more than a hug.”

She gently grabs Yasha’s nape and pulls her down as she gets on her tiptoes. Their mouths meet with a tenderness they’ve been missing for the past week. Beau’s lips are cracked, but it doesn’t stop Yasha from responding. She eagerly grips her thin waist and brings her closer. She feels like she hasn’t kissed her for an eternity. She’s been desperate for the moment she could taste her lips again, and as much as she tries, she can’t hide it.

When one of them breaks the kiss to take in some much needed air, the other immediately comes chasing her. Breathing or kissing, they’re not sure what is the most vital at the moment.

But one thing  _ is _ for certain.

“You’re home,” Yasha manages to say once they both finally gasp for air.

“I’m home,” Beau replies in kind as she points to Yasha’s chest right over her heart and then to her own. “Because you’re here. And...” Her face twists for a bit, as if trying to think of something. “ _ Orhim jr bakurn eth odror jr _ . Been a while since I used it so I hope I wasn’t rusty.”

Yasha is left confused. “Were you speaking gibberish just now?”

Beau just blushes a little, not quite successfully averting her gaze. “It’s Dwarvish for ‘home is where the heart is’.”

Yasha is slightly taken aback for a moment, but then she smiles. “It sounds terrible in Dwarvish, but I love it nevertheless.”

A moment later, the cat returns with their snacks. Beau crouches down to take the plate from its tail and give the cat a petting. “Good kitty.” Ollie then scurries back down the aqueduct. And as Beau stands back up, her keen sense of perception catches something noteworthy that she hadn’t before.

On one of the decorative staves hanging to the wall, there is an engraving that wasn’t there before. She hands Yasha the plate without a word and the aasimar watches as she walks over and takes the staff. Engraved neatly in Dairon’s handwriting are a few words:

**Listen. Learn. Be patient. Live, for the both of us.**

She hears her own voice saying these words when she was finishing her speech earlier. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Her mind flashes back to that smile on Dairon’s face just before it was lost in the ashes. Painful to recall, but that smile from her former mentor… it was like a kind of “eye of the storm” clarity.

She feels a hand on her shoulder and for a moment, as she opens her eyes, she thinks she will see Caleb, trying to scan her face to see if his addition pleases her. But instead, Yasha looks her in the eye. “Are you okay?” She glances at the writing and then back at her.

“I’m fine. I should have known he’d do something like this.”

“That’s what he does.”

Beau puts the staff back on the wall. She looks at Yasha and gives a head motion towards the bed. “We should eat. I prefer my bacon hot.”

Yasha nods and puts a kiss on her forehead before they both go sprawl on the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to submit ideas if you'd like!


End file.
